Extreme Vacation - The Aloha Way

By Lisa Sonne

Others do the driving, flying, cooking, and pampering for you. Your “job” is to enjoy.

The last time I was in Hawaii, I was careening through the sky in a helicopter piloted by an ex- Green Beret flyer from the Vietnam War. We were below the top of the giant vertical surf of Mauai’s “Jaws” heading toward cliffs that rise above “Suicide Rocks”. We were filming big wave surfers for a Discovery program that I was producing and writing for called “Extreme Hawaii.”

This trip to the Islands, I wanted to try something that I could call “Extreme Vacation” with activities at the other end of the spectrum- pampering, turn down bed service, treats, and no heavy lifting, but lots of light laughter (and no film crew.).

I wanted to see what it would be like to enjoy a resort vacation No Ka Oi which loosely translates from Hawaiian as “Number One.” Ka means “the one,” oi means “the best, superior, exceeding, above,” and No is a word that intensifies the meaning of the other words with it, according to Cynthia Rankin who said my visit at the Hilton Hawaiian Village Beach Resort and Spa on Oahu Island could include everything from flaming deserts to penguins.

I felt ready to check in and check out Hilton Resort life on Waikiki, ready to trade “lights, camera, action” for “sun, concierge, and inaction.” But was I really ready to unwind to the extreme?

At the Honolulu Airport, a uniformed driver stood with a sign bearing my name. Even after a comfy flight like my United one, crossing an ocean, hurtling west, and actually travelling backwards in time can be a little disorienting. Yet here was this man solving for me the quintessential existential riddle, “Who Am I ?” by holding a sign with my name on it. Already life feels easier.

My room in the Hilton HawaiianVillage Beach Resort and Spa.was on the 9th floor of Ali’i tower. The room literature says “in old Hawaii, the Ali’i were the kingdoms’ royal class and were treated with the utmost deference and respect. At the Village’s exclusive Ali’i tower there is uncompromising luxury and highly personalized service.”

I certainly felt royal sitting on a cushy chair out on my balcony overseeing a sweeping view of Oahu’s longest stretch of white sand, and looking below to people playing in a park of swaying, rustling palms. Balmy breezes lightly stroked my hair and skin and seemed to be whispering gently ”vacation, vacation.” Let your mind “vacate!”

A kimono-like robe was laid out on the bed. There was already ice in the bucket and music playing when I arrived. There was even a scale that had me weighing five pounds lighter than I had in a year- a good psychological appetizer before I went to a reception party and sampled delicious food created by Executive Chef Daniel LA Garde, a creative transplant from Canada who seemed to enjoy that Hawaii was the culinary epicenter of a Pacific Rim of East- West cultures.

Back in my luxury room, I realized that my toothpaste had gone AWOL in these days of heightened airport security, but I remembered that I didn’t need to run out and find a drugstore. I simply called the front desk.

While waiting, my LCD TV and the high speed internet in the room tempted me, but it was the Tiki Torches on the beach and the sounds of the waves that entertained me from my balcony perch while a bubble bath started a slow fill. The knock on the door came. The hotel employee didn’t bow or give me the toothpaste on a silver platter as royalty might expect, but I preferred the warm Aloha smile I got instead. Soon I was sleeping on soft high thread count sheets, with my balcony door wide open to a surf lullaby.

Sunrise was deliciously visible from my bed as was Diamond Head. I thought maybe I should just stay in bed for the entire duration if I was really going to indulge in “Extreme Vacation” – you know, really test out the versatility of room service. My tugging companion (aka curiosity) would not allow this though.

So instead I considered a seductive list of possibilities that allow one to still “see” some of Hawaii, while being luxuriously lazy.

To visit some of Honolulu beyond the charms of the Resort Village, it turns out you don’t even need to walk. Hilton can arrange for you to learn to “glide” on a Segway Platform right on the grounds. You step up on the platform of the 85 pound machine, and within fifteen minutes of instruction, you could be spinning 360s.

Before you are liberated to hit the Honolulu sidewalks with the rest of the gliding class, there may be moments of humility and hilarity though and you do need to prove competence. The Segways have no traditional brakes. You use the heels and balls of your feet for forward and backward motion as well as tweaking your left handle bar to control turns and using your legs for turns like skiing. This was not as lazy as I thought it would be, but it was both more fun and funny than I anticipated.

Segway of Hawaii has tours of Waikiki during sunset and fireworks, historic trails, and even a glide to Diamond Head. I followed single file a gliding line of other zooming newbies as we rocked and rolled over sidewalks and streets and a bridge to get to Magic Island with gorgeous scenic views. Various points of interest were pointed to (like where they filmed the opening of Giligans’ Island) but I was more amused watching the expressions of people reacting to our motorized parade.

For breathtaking aerial views, on this “easy does it” vacation mode I didn’t need to hike to the top of Diamond Head (though I hear it’s got a commanding vista). I was driven up to the island’s famous North Shore to experience “Airgasms” courtesy of “Mr. Bill” who started Original Glide Rides 37 years ago. I was gasping and ohhing when the tow plane dropped its rope and I was in a small motorless plane riding the thermals with awe, instead of engines.

My pilot, co- owner Buzz, tilted the plane wings so we could see the cliffs and waves of the North Shore infamous to surfers and great for whale watching in season. It’s a thrill to glide over long stretches of coastline, the littoral zone where wild ocean and land meet.

The pilot respectfully pointed out a striking promontory where he said traditional Hawaiians believed the dead’s spirits left their bodies. He also swooped over some of the left-overs from the filming of “Lost” a popular TV show. Our moving “overview” was quite memorable.

Road Trips seem to be an inevitable part of many vacations, but getting lost can be the fastest way to find serendipity or---- stress. I decided to try letting someone else do all the driving and navigating. Polynesian Adventure Tours with their bright buses can customize group trips with friends to many parts of Honolulu and Oahu. My road trip was richly diverse from food stops with scrumptious sweet “Malasadas” for local Portuguese cuisine to strolls along post card quality waterfalls, birds and fauna at the Waimea Valley Audubon Center. With someone else navigating, the only map I pulled out was one from Bob Bone’s fascinating Maverick Hawaii Guidebook because I wanted to mark the places we were going.

The hardest part of this Oahu bus tour was figuring out which side of the bus to look out. For a long stretch, one side had beaches and islands and the other window views were of steep folded green mountains and cliffs.

As inviting as all the possibilities of Oahu are, for those with even less ambition than a road trip, you really don’t need to leave the Resort Village’s 22 acres. There are samplings of Hawaii all around in artistic walkways filled with local culture and history. The landscaping shows off local fauna. The waterfalls on the grounds may not be as authentic as Waimea Falls, but they are beautiful.

The local bird species are joined by some sixty foreign surprises like pink flamingos that you can watch close up. I even went on a “Walk on the Wild side” with an informative “conservationist guide” who answered questions about habitats and habits, and let me pet a friendly African Black-foot penguin! Who knew that most penguin species live in sub-tropical or tropical places?

The Hilton Village also pulls in the outer world in many other ways with international shopping (90 stores), and global cuisine (over 20 restaurants and lounges.) You can start at Bali by the Sea in the morning and spread Guava Jelly and Passion Fruit Jams on Bali pastries, and for dinner enjoy the Golden Dragon with Chinese Long Life noodles with Lobster, and the impressive carved imported watermelon soup and the Imperial Beggar’s Chicken (which needs to be ordered a day in advance so it can bake in a clay oven while wrapped in lotus leaves.)

When not eating, I would have been quite happy exploring more of the global aspects of the resort grounds, but in the interest of “extreme vacation,” I opted to explore face down ---- with an “Around the World Massage at the Mandara Spa right on the grounds. My pampering included a little Swedish, a little Japanese shiatsu, and a little Hawaiian lomi, lomi. Usually when I open my eyes in the oval of the massage table head rest, I am just staring at the floor. A nice touch here was an orchid in a bowl to look at below.

I followed up my touchy feely world tour, standing under a warm waterfall that fed the Jacuzzi in the women’s spa, then floated back to the balcony of my room. There weren’t porters to carry me there, but it still all felt pretty royal.

There were five pools to sit in or near, a long seductive white beach, and lounges with live music, but for my “R and R” I went for Recreation more than Relaxation. My play time included lessons---surfing and hula. Who could resist a chance to lie on a long board on Waikiki Beach with a view of Diamond Head to try to become a Waihine (surfer girl). It was right there in the front yard of the hotel, and the instructors were buff surfers who say their previous students included Justin Timberlake and Carmen Diaz.

Conditions were perfect for a first timer and they talked me through standing on the board and riding in baby waves! When I looked the least bit tired paddling back out, one of the surfers would tow me out---with his toes linking my board to his. My last ride, I waved the Shaka (“hang loose” hand symbol) while laughing that it was me standing on a 12 foot board near where the great Duke used to surf. What a wonderful rush for this Waihine surfer wanna be!

And who wouldn’t want to have a language lesson when the “words” are gently swaying your arms and legs and hips? For centuries, the Hawaiians “talked story “ with dance. I was glad no one was trying to translate what I was inadvertently saying my first lesson. Surrounded with other tourists –from 2 to 70 --we swayed and laughed to Hawaiian music with a hula instructor who knew her stories.

Okay with all the soporific soothing sun and long beaches and long lounge chairs by pools, I realize taking all these lessons (Segway, surf, hula) may sound a bit ambitious for an Extreme Vacation, but I realized that here in resort Hawaii I could enjoy longboards instead of keyboards, pineapples instead of Blackberries and AOKs instead of PDAs. I loved it!

It was extremely relaxing to let others handle all the logistics and details and to be brought superb food and fun. Given my nature, I will still say “yes” to other kinds of trips with discomforts like mud and spiders, if there is a chance to explore an unknown cave, or follow a machete hacker into a jungle to get a good story, but sometimes one needs a vacation where you can let your mind vacate and body relax--- let someone else be in charge. How nice just to say Mahalo (Hawaiian for thanks)!

This resort life can be quite nourishing --- especially when you can choose each day whether to be a beach bum, shopaholic, foodie, bookworm, or athlete or do something you have never done before, and it’s all in your realm. Then, no matter what you did or didn’t do, “at the end the day,” there will be a mint on your pillow. And there will be a new bedside card telling you about the true Hawaiian royalty that proceded your Alii visit.

Na Koi O indeed.

Lisa Sonne has been “weightless in zero gravity with cosmonauts, helped map a cave in Mexico, and was the first woman to “fly underwater” in an innovative submersible called the Deep Flight Aviator. She is also happy exploring spa therapies and architecture. A writer and producer for print, film and internet, she has never met a country she didn’t like. www.WorldTouristBureau.com